The Sweetness of Blackmailing
by iceboltmage
Summary: Ed is a girl pretending to be a boy. Ed does not want anyone to know that he is really a girl. But one day Colonel Mustang finds out and all hell breaks out. READ&REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:  Ed is a girl pretending to be a boy. Ed does not want anyone to know that he is really a girl. Al, Winry, and Pinako all agreed to hide this fact. But one day Colonel Mustang finds out and all hell breaks out. What will happen to Ed? Will Ed's secret come out into the open? Just read and find out. **

**Author note:  Well I hope you enjoy this story. Rated T, mostly do to Ed's language. For those of you who have read my other stories I am sorry I haven't update them for a really long time. I will try to update them as soon as I can. **

**Chapter one 1: Secret's out**

As the train pulled up to Central City station Ed was still arguing with Al. Dressed in his usual attire that consists of black leather pants, black sleeveless tee-shirt, a black jacket and gloves. His red coat was laying on top of his traveling trunk.

"Al just leave it" Ed yelled everyone stared at him for a moment because of his sudden out burst and then walked off. "I'm not going to tell any one." Ed got off the train closely followed by Al. "No matter what you say."

"Come on nee-san, you kept up this act long enough." Al whined. He was tired of how Ed or Edana pretends to be a boy. Ed is a girl after all.

"Al!" Ed yelled. Ed then frantically looked around to make sure no one heard what Al said. "Are you trying to let the whole world know?" "The only ones who know are you, Winry, and the old bat."

"Alright **nii-san." **Al said. "You need to report to the Colonel right?"

**"**Yeah**" **Ed said wearily. "We came to YET another DEAD END." "I bet that asshole will make some kind of remark just to piss me off."

"All you feeling alright or do you have your period" Al teasingly asked.

"Al QUIT IT" Ed yelled. For the rest of the walk there they were silent.

Ed's real name is Edana Sakura Elirc. She got the name Edward form Alphonse middle name. Ever sense their mother died Ed's been pretending to be a guy. The reason for that is something that no one really knows, not even Ed herself anymore. Ed is such a tomboy any way if it weren't for the gender issue then you could almost say the Ed is a guy. So to now tell people he is a girl is not a good ideal at all. If any one found out they could use it for great black mailing material.

As they reached central command Ed turned around facing Al and said "Remember not to say a world." They went straight to Mustang's office. The clue they had found about the philosopher stone turned up nothing. It was just some alchemist claiming to have it but in reality it was just some rock. The Alchemist just wanted to cause some problems.

As Ed was about to go in lieutenant Hawkeye came out of mustang's office, gun in hand. "Edward, Alphonse good to see you well. I have to get more paper work for the Colonel." With that said she left.

"Bet that bastard Colonel tried to get out of doing his paperwork again" Ed stated as a smirk spread across her lips. "Al you don't have to come in."

"I know but I want to nii-san" Al persisted. With that said they entered Mustang's office. Mustang sat behind his desk looking through a file.

"Hawkeye just place the paperwork to the side. I have something I really need to look into" Mustang said and waited to hear the sound of a gun loading up. When nothing happened he looked up to find Fullmetal smirking and his brother standing behind him. Placing a smirk of his own and putting the file in his hand down. "Fullmetal what catastrophic thing did you bring me this time. It's hard to imagine you can cause such damage with that small body of your's."

"Who are you calling small like a grain of rice and doesn't show up in your eyes!" Ed yelled.

"Nii-san he didn't say that" Al sighed.

"Fullmetal" Mustang said to get the young alchemist attention. "You cause more damage than you are worth to the military." Ed meanwhile glared evilly at him. "It looks like you have hit nothing but dead ends now." A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he looked through the rest off Ed's report. "You may go now shrimp."

"Don't you DARE CALL ME SHRIMP" Ed yelled as he was dragged out of mustang's office by Al.

Hawkeye then walked into the room carrying a big pile of papers. Mustang muttered," O great more paper work." luckily Hawkeye didn't hear him or he would have had bullet holes in his head.

"Sir is something wrong" Hawkeye asked. She could tell that after the visit from Ed he looked kind of off.

"No just a headache" Mustang sighed. "Did you notice anything wrong with Fullmetal? He seemed crankier than usual."

"No sir, Edward did look a little tired though" Hawkeye stated. "Maybe he came down with something. You should check on him later to make sure he is okay." with that said she made sure that Mustang got hi work done. Mustang thought he might just do that to get out of doing paper work. He hated doing paper work more than anything.

Meanwhile Ed and Al walked down the hallway of Central command towards there dorm. Ed had a weird look on her face every once and a while.

"Is something wrong" Al asked.

"It's nothing" Ed insisted. "I just have to go."

"You can go to the bathroom here" Al stated.

"**No I** **can't**" Ed stated in a you-know-what-I-mean type of voice.

"Oh" Al said as he realized what Ed What Ed meant "It's your fault for keeping that a secret.

"Hey chief are you okay" havoc asked as they walked down the hall. He was on his walking down the hallway towards Mustang's office.

"I'm fine" Ed replied. "Just a little tired is all." He did not want to say he had to go really badly. It would cause nothing but trouble.

"Well take care of yourself, chief" Havoc said as he walked in the direction in which they came from.

When they reached their dorm Ed went straight to the bathroom. It was liked she never seen a toilet before. She locked herself in there for a while. You could hear something that sounded like "Aw FINALLY a TOLIET" from outside the bathroom. Their room was small a simple. There were two beds, addresser, couch, and a small table. There was no kitchen but a bathroom at lest.

While Ed occupied herself in the bathroom someone knocked on their door. Al went to answer it and found Roy Mustang standing their in his uniform. He had a bored look on his face.

"Hello Alphonse is Fullmetal here" he asked.

"Yes colonel, nii-san is in the bathroom" Al replied.

A noise was heard from inside the bathroom. It sounded like someone screamed crap. Mustang headed towards the door and tried to open it but it wouldn't budge. Ed called from inside and said, "Al can you get me more toilet paper." He them unlocked the door but did not open it.

Al got toilet paper but Mustang took it and was about to open the door. Al tried to stop him but was unable to. Mustang opened the door to see Ed on the toilet with a horrified look on her face. Mustang could help but notice the he is a she and has her period. The toilet paper that was once in his hands, fell. It slowly rolled over to Ed.

"Oh shit…" was the only thing Ed can say. Her secret has been exposed and the person who found out had to be Colonel Roy mustang. "**OH SHIT!" **

**Author note:  So what did you think? Liked it? PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note****: sorry about the long wait. Well thank you to all who read and reviewed. Here is the next chapter hope you enjoy it.**

**Chapter 2: **

"Well I see you are fine Fullmetal" Mustang said uneasily. "Well see you later Fullmetal." With that said mustang left with out a word.

The next day Roy sat in his office still shocked. On the outside he remained calm if nothing more. On the inside lots of questions were buzzing around in his head. For one if Fullmetal really is a girl why in the world did she pretend to be a boy. One thing did make sense Roy was glad he was not gay. He felt a little attracted to Fullmetal and it scared him. Roy Mustang, Amestris greatest womanizer, to have feelings for a guy.

'Why does Alphonse go along with saying Fullmetal is a girl?' Roy was so lost in thought that a click of Hawkeye's gun loading up brought him back to reality.

"Is something the matter sir" Hawkeye asked gun in hand. "There is a lot of paperwork to do and you have yet to start." Her hand on her gun tightens a bit.

"It's nothing Lieutenant" Mustang replied. "Can you locate Fullmetal and tell**him** that I want to speak with **him**." If there was one thing for sure he is determined to have all of his question answered. Why the hell would Fullmetal pretend to be a guy to begin with? Maybe I can expose Fullmetal being a girl to the public. That will surely bring more female state alchemist into that military.

"Yes sir" Hawkeye saluted. "You better not try to get out of your paperwork today, like you did yesterday." With that said she left Mustang in his office to his thoughts and a mountain of paperwork.

Havoc then walked in. "Hawkeye told me that while she looks for Ed that I need to make sure you do your paperwork,"

Mustang raised an eyebrow, "Why did you agree to it."

"You try to saying**no **when you have lieutenant Hawkeye, happy trigger finger, pointing a gun at you." Havoc stated. "She is sometimes scarier than lieutenant colonel Hughes and his daughter's pictures."

Meanwhile with Ed and Al things were a little hectic. Al is sitting down watching Ed pace back and forth. Ed could not stay still. It would have been better that their teacher was the one that found out instead of Colonel Mustang. At least getting killed by her teacher would have been better that to suffer the torment that was sure to come the next time she sees colonel bastard.

"Nee-san please calm down" Al pleaded he was tired seeing his sister act like this. "Maybe that colonel didn't see anything."

"He SAW IT" Ed yelled. "He is probably telling the whole word now! My life is OVER. Why in the word would you let open the **bathroom door** Al?"

"I tried to stop him nee-san. It's your own fault for keeping this a secret any way."

"SHUT UP Al!"

"You're always cranky during your time of the month" Al replied.

"Al!" Ed yelled. She glared at Al for mentioning something that states she is a girl.

A knock on the door interrupted there little fight. They looked at one another for a moment Ed went to the bathroom and locked her self in there. She absolutely refused to open the door incased it was Mustang, the source of all evil to her.

When Al opened the door he saw lieutenant Hawkeye standing there. By her expression the colonel told no one yet. "Hello lieutenant, what can I do for you?"

"Colonel Mustang asked me to find Edward." Hawkeye replied. "Where is Edward anyway? It seems urgent that he speaks to the colonel."

"Nii-san is in the bathroom."

"I can wait till he is done before I escort him back to the colonel's office" Hawkeye stated.

"I'm afraid it might take a long time" Al told Hawkeye. "Nii-san always takes forever in the bathroom."

"I'm sure I can wait for him Alphonse" Hawkeye assured him. "Edward can't take too long."

**One hour later**

"Alphonse is Edward okay. He's not hurt is he?"

"Sorry Nii-san can be a little stubborn. He probably has diarrhea."

"I should get back. Who knows if the Colonel is even doing his paperwork. Could you bring Edward to see the Colonel when he is done." With one lat look at the bathroom a sigh was released as she opened the door. Pausing for a moment, "Alphonse do you have any ideal why the Colonel want to talk to Edward?"

"No" said the emotionless suit of armor. On the inside he knew why. He was now positive that Mustang found out that Nii-san was a girl. Mustang probably wants to know why Nee-san is pretending.

Just as Hawkeye was about to leave, the bathroom door peaked open. Ed stuck her head out scanning around. Her eyes landed on Al and first lieutenant Hawkeye. She inwardly cringed. Standing there inwardly arguing whether or not to close the door.

"Edward the Colonel wants to see you, Alphonse you can come too."

Ed noticed that Hawkeye did not mention anything about why she pretended to be a boy. Hope sparked inside. Maybe that Colonel Bastard did not see anything. It was that or she was about to get blackmailed by that source of all evil. "Tell Colonel Bastard that we're busy looking for information on the philosopher stone."

"Edward I doubt that you were busy. You were in the bathroom for about an hour."

"But…." Ed started.

"No buts' Edward" Hawkeye stated gun in hand. "The Colonel really needs to see you. Seeing you are the reason he seems unable to get his paperwork done, see what he wants first and then do your research. Ed and Al followed Hawkeye with her still holding onto her gun.

**Author Note:**** Once again I am very sorry for the long wait. Hope you like it so far. Next time see what happens when Mustang blackmails Ed. Well please review. I will try to update as soon as I can. Well, ****Happy Thanksgiving**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author Note:** **here is the next chapter. Shorter wait than last time. Well thanks to all of you who read and review** **story. Hope you like what happen next. **

"Royal Flush" Roy said as he laid down his cards. He, Havoc, and Breda were playing poker. Mustang was once again procrastinating. He will do anything just to get out of doing his cursed paperwork.

"No fair Colonel" Breda yelled. "You must be cheating!"

"Second lieutenant Breda, I did not cheat. So pay up" Roy ordered.

"Just be glad you aren't playing against Ed. Now he really has a big problem with cheating." Havoc told Breda.

"So where is Hawkeye anyway? It's unlike her to not show up here" Breda asked.

"First Lieutenant Hawkeye went to get Fullmetal. There is something we have to talk about." Mustang stated. It has been a little over an hour when he sent Hawkeye out to get Ed.

A knock was heard breaking the few seconds of silence that was contained in the office. "Sir, I have Edward and Alphonse with me."

Whispering to Havoc and Breda, Mustang told them to clean up their little poker game and to pay him after work. Neither of them wanted to get a bullet through their head so they had their mess cleaned up in seconds. "Come in" Mustang yelled as he hurriedly pretended to be working while she was gone.

Entering the office Hawkeye walked in confidently as Al walked in a little nervously. Ed stepped into the room without hesitation. She did not want to act any differently when Mustang question her. During the walk to Central Headquarters she came up with a plan that would hopefully work. Al on the other hand knew that nee-san could be in a lot of trouble for hiding something like this. It could really jeopardize their search for the philosopher stone.

"Havoc, Breda, And Hawkeye, leave the room. Fullmetal and I need to talk. Alphonse you can stay if you want to." Mustang Ordered. Hawkeye shot Mustang a look that said I know you did no paperwork while I was away.

"Al stay here. I don't want to be alone with Colonel Bastard" Ed told her brother.

"See ya chief" Havoc told Ed as he left.

Once everyone was out of the room but them, everything became quite. The silence was thick as cement.

"Okay, Colonel God Complex what do you want. We need to continue our research" Ed stated to him.

"Hold on Fullmetal" Mustang ordered. "Tell me why you pretend to be a boy when you are a girl." Ed did not answer she was at a loss for words. Her plan that she worked up vanished. She had no idea how to put her plan to action. "That's an order Fullmetal. I can court martial you if you don't tell me."

"Nee-san just wanted" Al started.

"AL don't TELL HIM" Ed yelled.

"Fullmetal tell me or let your brother say it. I will cut your research budget if you do not tell me in the next ten seconds." Mustang's patient was wearing down.

"Why the HELL do you want to know?" Ed was trying to stall as long as she can. Her plan was gone. She never had a plan for if her secret was discovered. Ed can be quite stupid at times.

"Because **Edward**, if that's even your real name, you lied to the military and to us. You can be discharged forcefully from being a state Alchemist if you do not tell me **why**."

"Nee-san just wanted some respect" Al blurted out.

"AL" Ed yelled.

"HUH" Mustang was at a lost for words "Explain."

"Well Colonel you know how female State Alchemists never really get the respect male State Alchemist get. Al started. He looked at Mustang and Mustang nodded for him to continue. "Well nee-san did not want to be treated badly so she pretended to be a boy. Female State Alchemists are never taken serious and are laughed at. Nee-san really did not want that. Any way not to mention nee-san was already a real tomboy."

"Just tell my whole life story why don't cha Al" Ed said depressingly.

"Well Fullmetal. I guess this explain why you are so short" Mustang replied with a smirk plastered all over his face.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT A SPEC OF DUST WILL CRUSH ME JUST FROM DUSTING YOUR DESK."

"Calm down Fullmetal. So tell me what your real name is?" Mustang Asked.

"I would rather die than tell you" Ed hissed.

"It can't be that bad Fullmetal." Mustang suggested.

"Nee-san please don't be difficult" Al pleaded.

"Colonel Bastard you better not tell anyone" Ed demanded.

"Why not? They will find out eventually, even if I do not say a word. But you have to do something for me then. Equivalent Exchange, right Fullmetal" Mustang's smirk got even bigger if possible.

"What is it?" Ed asked. She started to fear the worst. In her mind all she could concentrate on is, this can't be happening to me.

"I don't know? I'll think of it later. It will be **more** than just **one** measly little request."

"You're BLACKMAILING me. Aren't you?" Ed's worst fear was becoming a reality.

"Exactly. O but before you go. Tell me you're real name Fullmetal. Remember I hold your big secret now."

"GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRR, its Edana. Are you happy now Colonel Bastard? Lets' go Al."

"Just remember do not plan on leaving Central any time soon Edana" Mustang smirked as he saw a small blush of either embarrassment or anger grow on her cheeks.

Ed and Al left the room and Ed slammed the door shut as she left. She felt like killing Mustang now. She also felt like her life was over. Ed could not be believe that Mustang had addressed her using her real name.

Once they were out of his office, Mustang happily started to do his paper work while his mind was somewhere else. When Hawkeye entered the room to make sure he was doing his work she was shocked. For the first time Mustang was willingly doing his paperwork. Something must be wrong.

Hours later Roy was walking home, writing a mental list of what he shall do to Ed. But all he could come up at the moment was mini skirts, keep calling her Edana, and find a way to let everyone in his office know her little secret. Maybe he should research what her name means. That might explain the unwillingness of Ed telling him. The chances were slim for that. The night time air was chilly as he continues to walk home in the dark letting the street lights be his guide. He reached a small on level red house.

Meanwhile once Ed and Al were done with their research and eating dinner, they were at their dorm. Al once again watched his sister pace back and forth and rants.

"I can't believe this. My life is over. Why could it not have been our teacher to find out?"

"It would have been harder to explain to her than the Colonel Nee-san. Please go to sleep."

"How CAN I sleep now. I will have nightmares about what he might do."

"This can't be helped. Someone would have found out eventually any way Nee-san."

"DON'T agree with Colonel Bastard!"

"Are you PMSing nee-san? Maybe you should eat some chocolate or take some medicine."

"AL! Do not TALK about THIS as if you know anything about it!" Ed's face was red with embarrassment. That last thing she needed was to talk about her female problems was with her little brother. "I'm going to sleep."

**Author Note: ****so did you like it? Well next time the blackmailing finally starts. Well feel free to offer advice on what Mustang should do. I might use it or not. So please don't be offended if I don't use you're suggestion. Please Review.**


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